Fellmans Movie Reviews

RED = SPOILERS:

What can you say about The Force Awakens that you can’t say about A New Hope because they’re basically the same movie… Seriously, was J.J. Abrams even trying when he wrote this script? Or did he just kind of look at the cliff notes of the first Star Wars and go “Yeah, that sounds about right… Let’s use that…” Like, how unoriginal can you possibly get? You could at least TRY to do something else. Go to a different planet. Introduce some different characters. Do it in a different order. I mean, it’s space… You have to have some kind of adaptability in your useless little director brain. God knows you’re not using it for directing…

What’s it about? Anyways… Coming up next on our Star Wars marathon we have Episode 7: The Force Awakens. This begins the sequel trilogy, where Rey, a junk scavenger on the desert planet of Jakku, finds a BB unit with a map to Luke Skywalker in it and has to get it back to the Resistance. She’s helped along on her quest by a deserting stormtrooper named Finn and an aged Han Solo and his long-time companion, Chewbacca. They meet a thousand-year-old bar owner along the way named Maz Kanata who is familiar with the Force and tries to instruct Finn and Rey in what to do on their journeys. The group finds their way back to the resistance and they find a way to blow up the First Order’s new weapon, The Starkiller Base. Which is basically the Death Star, but bigger…

What’s good? Meh. I suppose the special effects are good to watch. It’s good for an action movie. It’s good for nostalgia if you want to see some old characters from the old movies. Aside from that, not a whole lot of it is good. It’s a reboot. It’s a tired replay of the original Star Wars with new versions of the old characters, updated with new technology and given a shiny new veneer for a new generation of fans so they can sell more movies. It’s a cash grab. 

What’s bad? Most of it. From a lot of the poorly written and boring dialogue to most of the pointless and seemingly drawn-out action scenes, there’s a whole bunch of parts of this movie that just seem to drag on.  

The acting? I suppose, as far as acting goes, it wasn’t terrible. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I have no reason to give them any kudos, either. It’s pretty standard, as far as movies go. 

The effects? It’s Star Wars. The special effects are top-notch, as they always will be. If there’s one thing any Star Wars movie is going to have, it’s going to be special effects. They might not have the best script, or actors, or craft service table… But their special effects are going to be spot on… 

The characters? The characters in The Force Awakens are nothing more than characters from other Star Wars, given a new look. Poe is an updated Han. Snoke is an updated Emperor. Kylo Ren is an updated Darth Vader. Rey is an updated Luke. BB-8 is an updated R2-D2. The list goes on and on… 

Just a reboot. This movie is just a reboot, looking for a way to make a new generation of Star Wars fans. They just found somebody to pick it back up, dust it off and give it a spit-shine so they could send it out and make some more money off it. 

Killing Han. Harrison Ford refused to do the movie unless they killed off Han. He originally wanted Han to die in the first place, but George Lucas didn’t want to kill him off in the original movies. So, Ford said he would make the comeback if they killed him off.  

Kylo Ren is the worst Sith Lord ever. Kylo Ren is fighting Finn with a lightsaber for several minutes. That should’ve taken less than 5 seconds. He’s fighting Rey for who knows how long and it’s literally the first time she’s picked up a lightsaber. She just suddenly “understands” how to do it for some reason, and Kylo Ren forgets all the training that he’s been doing as a Jedi and a Sith Lord for literally his entire life. Like, who should be afraid of him? Not to mention all the hissy fits he’s constantly throwing… 

So, yeah, the sequels suck. But they’re still Star Wars. And if you’re going on a Star Wars marathon, you still have to watch them. Just to finish the series. Up next, Episode 8: The Last Jedi. And as always, May the Force Be With You…